Very Chinese Time

Family and partners

Chinese for meeting your partner’s family

Updated

When you meet a partner’s family, short Chinese sentences are enough. The family notices what you say yourself: a greeting at the door, thanks for the tea, a word about the food. This page goes through a typical visit in order, with a phrase for each part.

Wishlist on Steam See the phrases

How the visit usually goes

  1. Arriving with a gift

    Guests usually bring something, often fruit. The family may say you did not need to. That is just polite. Give the gift anyway.

  2. Greeting each person

    Greet each person as you come in. Older relatives are called by a family title, like “grandma” or “auntie”, not by name. This is the part of the visit people notice most.

  3. Sitting down with tea

    The family asks you to sit and offers tea straight away, often green or black tea.

  4. Helping in the kitchen

    If they are making dumplings, they will invite you to try. Nobody expects you to be good at it. Someone will show you how.

  5. The questions

    They may ask where you live, if you like it here and how long you have studied Chinese. Short answers in Chinese are what they will remember.

  6. More food than you can eat

    Hosts keep putting food on your plate. Saying you are full once may not be enough. Finish the last dumpling and you may get another.

Phrases to learn

  • 奶奶好 (nǎi nai hǎo) Hello, grandma

    Say it to greet a grandmother when you come in. 奶nǎi奶nai (grandma) plus 好hǎo (good) makes a greeting.

    They may say 快进来快进来！ (kuài jìn lái kuài jìn lái!) Come in, come in!
  • 爷爷你好 (yé ye ní hǎo) Hello, grandpa

    Say it to greet a grandfather. 爷yé爷ye (grandpa) is the title.

  • 阿姨 (ā yí) Auntie

    Use it for a partner’s mother before you are married. To greet her, say 阿ā姨yí好hǎo (hello, auntie).

  • 叔叔 (shū shu) Uncle

    Use it for a partner’s father before you are married. To greet him, say 叔shū叔shu好hǎo (hello, uncle).

  • 我想喝茶。 (wǒ xiǎng hē chá.) I want to drink tea.

    Say it when they offer you something to drink.

    They may say 绿茶还是红茶？ (lǜ chá hái shi hóng chá?) Green tea or black tea?
  • 我不会 (wǒ bú huì) I don’t know how

    Say it when they ask if you can make dumplings. They will show you how.

    They may say 不会？我教你！ (bú huì? wǒ jiāo nǐ!) Can't? I'll teach you!
  • 这样？ (zhè yàng?) Like this?

    Ask it to check you are doing it right while they watch.

    They may say 对对对！ (duì duì duì!) Right right right!
  • 真好吃！ (zhēn hǎo chī!) Really tasty!

    Say it about the food. Saying it more than once is normal.

  • 够了够了 (gòu le gòu le) That’s enough, that’s enough

    Say it when they keep putting food on your plate. Saying it several times is normal and polite.

    They may say 多吃点多吃点！ (duō chī diǎn duō chī diǎn!) Eat more, eat more! (You usually hear this first.)

The pinyin shows how the words are really said, as in the game.

Where to practise it in the game

Day 4 of the game is a full family visit, from buying the gift in the morning to the evening.

  • Buying the gift

    A message invites you to make dumplings with a family the next day. In the morning, you buy fruit near the hotel. You ask the price, ask if the fruit is sweet, and say it is a gift.

  • The stairwell

    You help an older woman carry her shopping up to the fifth floor. At the door, you find out she lives in the flat you are visiting.

  • The dumpling lunch

    You greet the grandparents, choose a tea and learn to wrap a dumpling. The family asks where you live, and you show them your photos. They add you on WeChat, the messaging app most people in China use. At the table, they offer vinegar and chili, keep serving you and make a toast.

  • Square dancing

    In the evening, the family takes you to the square, where neighbours dance together to music. The dancers ask if you are tired, and you try a couple of songs.

At a round family table, a grandmother in an apron and a grandfather rolling wrappers make dumplings with a young woman. A card asks “这是什么？” (What is this?).
Making dumplings at the family table on day 4.

Practical tips

  • Bring fruit or a small gift

    Good fruit, tea or something from your home country are common gifts. Your partner knows what the family likes.

  • Ask your partner what to call everyone

    Family titles depend on the exact relationship. Before marriage, people usually call a partner’s parents 叔shū叔shu (uncle) and 阿ā姨yí (auntie), and the grandparents 爷yé爷ye (grandpa) and 奶nǎi奶nai (grandma). Your partner may tell you different ones.

  • Expect slippers at the door

    Many families take off their shoes at the door and wear indoor slippers. They will offer you a pair.

  • Leave a little on your plate

    In many families, an empty plate means you are still hungry, so it gets refilled. Leave a little and say you are full. You may need to say it more than once. Families differ, so watch your partner.

Questions

What should I say when I meet my Chinese partner’s parents?

Greet each person as you come in. Say 叔shū叔shu好hǎo (hello, uncle) to the father and 阿ā姨yí好hǎo (hello, auntie) to the mother. These are the usual titles before marriage. Greet grandparents with 爷yé爷ye好hǎo (hello, grandpa) and 奶nǎi奶nai好hǎo (hello, grandma). A greeting to each person matters more than any long sentence.

What gift should I bring to a Chinese family dinner?

Fruit is the most common gift. Tea or a small specialty from your home country also work. Your partner will know what the family likes.

How do I say “I’m full” politely in Chinese?

Say 吃chī饱bǎo了le (I’m full) or 够gòu了le够gòu了le (that’s enough, that’s enough). Hosts often keep serving after the first time, so repeat it with a smile.

How do I compliment the food in Chinese?

Say 真zhēn好hǎo吃chī (really tasty). If you helped make the dumplings, they may ask who made one. You can answer 我wǒ包bāo的de (I wrapped it).

What if I can’t understand the family?

Say 听tīng不bu懂dǒng，请qǐng慢màn一yì点diǎn (I don’t understand, please speak more slowly). Most families are happy to slow down for someone who is trying. Your partner can help with the rest.

Does the game teach Cantonese for a Cantonese-speaking family?

No. Very Chinese Time in My Life teaches Mandarin only. A family that speaks Cantonese or another Chinese language at home usually understands Mandarin too, but their own language sounds different.